Memento Mori
by Gater101
Summary: OneShot. John Sheppard is only human. And he's hurting.


Title: Memento Mori  
Summary: Casting one more glance to their quiet moment on the balcony, Jennifer Keller was reminded that John Sheppard was only human.  
Characters: Keller, Sheppard, Teyla  
Pairing: John/Teyla, Teyla/Kanan  
Rating: K  
Spoilers: Post Quarantine but not a tag.

Jennifer Keller paused, her fork half way to her mouth as a familiar laugh floated over the usual din of the mess hall. She hadn't noticed Teyla when she had chosen her seat and when she turned in the direction of the laugh, she knew why. Out on the balcony, Teyla was sitting with John Sheppard and both were laughing mirthfully at something. Keller smiled and resumed her forks journey to her mouth. She was glad to hear Teyla laughing once more, as she'd not had much occasion to, recently. The father of her child – her entire people - was missing. Jennifer couldn't imagine what a burden that would be.

As another chuckle filtered into her hearing she glanced back at the pair with curious eyes. She'd seen, like everyone else, the relationship those two had and Keller had been a little surprised when Teyla had told her about Kanan; like Ronon, Jennifer had believed the two would eventually get together. She didn't know Colonel Sheppard too well – she knew that not many people aside from his team members really did, and even then their knowledge was vague at best – but she knew enough about him to know that he also didn't smile enough. The past few months had been hard on him, trying to adjust to a life without two of his best friends, a new leader, being answerable for so many, fighting a war with enemies too evil to be completely comprehended.

Seeing him sitting with Teyla, smiling and relaxed was rare.

She sat back in her chair and folded her arms, observing the two through interested eyes. She'd never had a chance to observe them when they were completely oblivious to outside scrutiny and it was intriguing to say the least. Sheppard sat beside Teyla, rather than across from her and Jennifer wondered who it was that had chosen the seating arrangement. He was leaning against the railing that the table was pushed up against facing Teyla, a knee drawn his chest draped with a forearm while the other adorned the table near to Teyla's hand. Teyla herself was angled slightly towards him, the sun lighting them both from behind. There was a single plate between them and two cups. They were talking animatedly and Jennifer could only imagine what Sheppard was trying to explain to her as his hands tumbled over one another as his eyes widened comically.

She watched them for a minute or so longer, smiling lightly, ignoring the food on her plate. It was quite the thing, to people watch. She was no psychologist but she could see the familiarity between them, the friendship and she almost envied it. She'd never had that with someone, not really. Looking at those two now, it would take some convincing to prove to someone that they'd only known one another for four years.

It was when she lifted her fork again that she saw something change and she concentrated on them yet again. His comical look had disappeared. In its place, a softer, almost loving smile appeared and his eyes trained on her distended stomach. She watched as his hand rose and his fingers reached out and stroked the fabric of her dress with such gentle assurance that Jennifer felt like she was intruding on something intimate, even from her distance. When she glanced back, Teyla had turned to him completely and Jennifer could no longer see her face but John's eyes were trained there, and Teyla's hand had covered his on her stomach.

Jennifer felt something inside of her constrict. The sight before her spoke volumes of something she wasn't sure she should try to comprehend. There was a bitter sweetness to it that Jennifer could almost taste. Sudden clarity cleared her eyes as she watched, the scene wrenching something in her gut. Their connection was so deep, so real that Jennifer could feel it, could see it and it both warmed her and pained her to observe their moment.

As Sheppard's eyes lowered and his hand withdrew, his smile becoming uncertain, the knot in her stomach twisted and she was reminded of their situation. It stung. And she wasn't even a part of it.

She pushed her plate away. Suddenly, she wasn't hungry anymore and as she stood to leave, she cast one more glance out to their stolen moment on the balcony, trying to dislodge the stubborn and unwelcomed lump in her throat.

What she saw reminded her that no matter what John Sheppard did, no matter his 'super hero complex' as Ronon liked to say, he was only human.

And he was hurting.


End file.
